i wonder if everyday is a holiday

ni need a day off from work. . this week, the stressfulness has reached to its peak. fuhhhhh. i need a holiday. i need my best of the best partner here. to lift up my spirit.

i feel so lazy to go to work. to even iron my kurungs. to even wake up with one thing in my mind, i must go to school. sooo lazy to enter the class with almost the whole class forgot to finish up my homework. sooo lazy to get angry and shouted like pftttt. sooo lazy to walk and leave the red marks from crabby like pinch. they won't realise their mistakes. they ignored. they just closed their hearing sense to listen to my never ending babbling.

things get worst when i entered the last class. only one out of 30 finished my work. longgg sigh. i would simply say, if you would like to be a servant forever, you may continue to live happily with your current behaviours. i wouldn't mind at all. i sometimes felt so demotivated to enter their class. the only way to revise what they had learnt at school was by doing lot and lots of exercises.

tell me what i should do. slow talk..advice..rewards, canning, beat....done .  nothing change except me. i'm so closed to give up. no improvement. most of the weak pupils, they needed to learn from the basic. i mean at their own pace, but, i had 30 of them in a totally not conducive classroom. tell me how to approach one by one. to pay attention at one pupil at a time.

think twice before you fill up the teaching courses forms. you might probably end up being a housewife. how i wish coz i couldn't imagine myself in 30 years time. i might pass away due to stress which is caused by the  pupils' behaviours.

work hard, my man. i wanna quit my job tomorrow. hahahaha. dream oh dream! crayyy

day 12

alhamdulillah,

we're now in the second phase of Ramadhan. alhamdulillah. He grants us another breath to prepare ourselves for our next destination. what a cliché.. as time goes by, people are now in the midst preparing things to celebrate Syawal. we could see lots and lots of sale adverts here and there. mosques and prayer hall are no longer our fav place. people have started to plan for iftar at somewhere grand. buttt, that's not the way to celebrate this month.

i pray to Allah so he could protect me from the wonders of dunya. this is a month of ibadah. He has promised us that He 'll grant our prayers. this is a month of ibadah. this is a special month. the most awaited one.

what a waste if we use the limited time given to go shopping and do other things that we often do during other months.

with that,
mari gandakan amal ibadah!

cooking

assalamualaikum,

wow, it looked like my passion into typing had slowly gone.

ramadhan is here again. alhamdulillah, i'm blessed to be one of the pupils in this school again. this ramadhan, i celebrated in Johor. i greeted the first day of Ramadhan alone this time. my other housemates went back to their hometown leaving me alone.

i was so sad at first but the feeling slowly faded away. i took this as a training for me for a couple of years to come.

i bet most of us had already setour own plan for this Ramadhan. it would be a waste if we never took this opportunity to do something different to our timeline. Ramadhan is a month of blessing. personally, i really believe that this month will determine us for the coming 11 months. month of refreshment physically and spiritually.

and, this year is my first year of working while fasting. fuhhh, it might look easy but never for me. i deal with kids from 7a.m until 2p.m. i need to talk and teach and shout as usual. i need to re ell the same thing for sooo many times, as usual. that's so not easy. melepekla sampai rumah.

and, alhamdulillah, up until now, we are still cooking. no outside food allowed for iftar, moreh and sahur. i'm challenging myself not to visit bazar ramadhan at all for this year. i feel healthy eating homemade food. it might take a little time and energy to prepare iftar but it worth and of course, saving our monthly budget.

tarawih, there's no excuse for me to skip since i'm no longer a student. no assignment. i usually finished my work at school. home is where my bed is. so, no workloads allowed to enter my room sweet room. haha. let's see, sampai bilakah? but, we often rotate from one surau/ masjid to another. see, so many mosques around this small town. no excuses are allowed except the special break.

have a blessed ramadhan, peeps. let's aim for His blessings and mardhatillah.

my happiness is let me do what i wanna do.

counting to gajiiiii.

you know what, my kp said that English teachers must know English songs. little that she knows, I can't even memorize Malay songs!!!!!hahahahaha....and I can live without tv and songs. pelik tapi benar. 

heyya hoii!!

today, i would like to talk about expectation. macam mat lutfi. lol!

today, i feel like a radio. talking to the playful kids. oh no! at that moment, i wished i could engulf them. i wished i could sign a resignation letter telling the big boss that this job did not meet my expectation. lol sangaaaat. pastu nak keje ape?

guys, please think wisely before you end up being a teacher. hahaha! there will be no u turn button. no matter how nak temuntah u might feel, you just have no choice. facing the same clients who goes to school with toys in their bags. hahahahaha! who always forget to bring books and do homework. bukankah terasa ingin lempang?

tapiiii, their innocent faces always forbid me from moving to the next crazy level. akhirnya, this new teacher will say, malam ni sambung buat ye sayang!

uwaaaaaaa.............

my permanent prayer from the first day i became a teacher is Ooo Allah, give me patient and passion. without them, i would probably have been typing a resignation letter now. hahahahaha.

lol!

how about you, geng cikgu? don't you feel the same?

perhaps, this feeling lasts for awhile only.....hihihi

she who finds a friend, finds a treasure.

assalamualaikum,

auuuuwwww, catching up with life and work. it's never been easy. i'm now counting to retirement..haha.

workloads..... juggling with thousands of personalities....susahnya. hanya Allah tau.

i'm a normal human who hates working during weekends. tell me how to avoid when it keeps on coming. i truly believe that works should end at your workplace. home is where you can have well rest after a busy day. buttt, not in this career.

embrace! i hope one day, my husband is financially stable to support our little family. so, this future mummy can quit her job and focus on family. hahahah. dream on! why not? haritu nak reja sangat. hahahaha.

apa apa pon..alhamdulillah.

heyy!!

assalamualaikum,

i'm back after a long hiatus. peace no war.  let's do some catching up. i was posted last month. two days ago marked my first monthversary as a teacher. yess, i'm now a teacher for real. i job that i hated so much five years ago. hahaha. i kept on repeating to my cliques that i wanted to enrol myself in any u in malaysia for another degree in law. ewahh. over kannn. that was the crazy part of me.

i'm now a matured lady. things changed. so do i. my first posting is in johor bahru and i'm still struggling to love and enjoy this journey. one month has passed and this is the hardest start ever. i'm far away from my loved ones n i miss them like hell.

to tell the truth, if i could choose, i would love to quit my job now and marry a handsome rich guy. haha. haritu nak keje sangat kannn!!! haha. marilah bersyukur.

let me tell you the reality of a new teacher. i felt so sad everytime i walked out of the classroom. i tried not to easily get mad and continuously babbling like a parrot. pity my babies. after all, they were just children.

like today, my year 5 pupils came in late. 20 minutes late. i started my class with shouting like a crazy lady. deep inside, i felt so sad. sedihnyaaaa!!! mesti diorang rasa miss syahira mental. i really need to learn how to make them respect me. i really really need to learn how to play with their emotions. n how to control my anger.

.

oh! i moved out from my first rental house since last Saturday. i needed a big space for my things and my brain to work well.  extra privacy is needed, hence, extra monthly rental fee. pfttt. i needed a place of mine.

it was one of the hardest decision i'd ever make. why? because it involved friendship. it took me one week to decide. being me, i listed down a few reasons why i need my own space just to keep me firm with my decision. i was blessed with 6 good friends to ease the sadness of being far away from family. i couldn't ask more.

and, Allah gave me another two new sweet friends to walk along in this journey.

alhamdulillah, i met lots of good people here. Allah knows best.

please, keep me in your prayers. iA, soon, i'm moving to a new status. a new journey. heee. the one that i've been looking forward. the one that will decorate my future. the one that i always pray and dream of. may Allah ease. please, keep me i  your prayers, peeps.

xo,