ramadhan

salam,

teringat zaman muda mudi..zaman otak masih suci..tak perlu memikirkan masalah dunia apatah lagi masalah  manusia. tak perlu memikirkah bagaimanakah calon suamiku nanti..kerjaya apakah yang bakal ku ceburi nanti. tak lagi memahami erti keputusan cemerlang. tak lagi mengerti kesusahan dan kesenangan. tak memikirkan kata orang. tak lagi memandang kaum berlainan jantina ibarat singa. semuanya boleh menjadi kawan. zaman berlari tanpa kasut adalah tersangat menyeronokkan. meniti di dalam parit mencari ikan kecil. menguli tanah tanpa mempedulikan bakteria yang jahat. zaman mengutip biji getah untuk menggantikan guli. mengorek lubang untuk bermain congkak di atas tanah. zaman mengukur kampung.berhenti mencari buah mata itik di sebalik semak pokok getah. zaman berkutu. zaman berinai setiap kali syawal menjelma. mencuri- curi minum air kolah. syawal menjadi bulan yang amat bermakna. sut hari raya lengkap dari ke malam raya sehinggalah hari raya ketiga. memilih untuk menggayakan kasut tumit tinggi. beg untuk menyimpan duit raya juga siap dibeli. inai merah di jari. di malam raya, bunga api..mercun ibarat kilat. disahut dengan meriam.gegak gempita seluruh kampung.kehangatan aidilfiti sangat dirasai. pemergiannya ditangisi.  puasa liat raya semangat..hakikat kehidupan semua kanak-kanakdan tidak terkecuali syahira ismail.

tapi kini, bila ramadhan semakin menghampiri, memang ada gembira. kegembiraan yang sukar diterjemahkan. di sebalik kegembiran itu ada juga ketakutan. usiaku..usiaku..semakin cepat masa berlalu.semakin lanjut usia.semakin pendek masa yang tinggal untuk mengumpul saham akhirat. kematian semakin dekat.sudah bersediakah aku?sudah bersediakah kita? soalan itu tak mungkin dapat dijawab. takut bila memikirkannya namun tetap perlu difikirkan. berhenti sejenak, selama hampir 20 tahun dipinjamkan nyawa, apa yang telah aku lakukah.sudahkah aku menyempurnakan tanggungujawabku sebagai muslim dan tanggungjawabku kepada Allah s.w.t dengan sebaik mungkin? semoga ramadhan kali ini menjadi ejen perubahan buat mereka yang masih tenggelam di dalam kegelapan..buat mereka yang masih menjadikan dunia sebagai syurga..buat mereka yang lupa untuk mengucapkan syukur di atas segala kenikmatan dan kesenangan..buat mereka yang mengeluh tika diuji dengan cabaran dan menjadi ejen penambahbaikan buat mereka yang sentiasa khusyuk dan tunduk kepadaNYA.

semoga Ramadhan kali ini disambut dengan penuh makna..

a Hectic weekend

salam,

hoping for a beautiful weekend but..

what a hectic weekend it turned out to be.standing under the hot sun. passing the balls. got injured. back pain.early breakfast as usual. fighting for a ball and few goals. bumped to each other. the instructor kept blowing the whistle only after less than 2 minutes  few series of games started. for those who hated rules, you better choose to master other games. watched out your steps. obstruction. free passing..contact ..free shooting.yeah.naturally, it was a real women game. need lots of patient. the linesmen's eyes were incredibly sharp. they watched every single of your steps. i had created a new name to this game, instead of calling it as netball, you can also follow my step by calling it as full of don'ts game but still i enjoyed the learning sessions. at least, they successfully made me run and grab the ball and played. what made me over excited was when i manage to shoot the ball sharply into the high small rounded net for more than 10 times. muahaha..it was my first time  as previously, i always failed to shoot sharply into the net but for this time around i did it.:)

ok, the end..time to get some sleep for tomorrow's battle of grappling the heartless bacteria. sore throat+flu+fever attacked me since last night. 

enjoy these few pictures. my mr cam is still away working for my sister so the only camera that i have now is my c510.

credit to the owner of this pic.i just do my work downloading this pic from ur fb album and tayang here.:)

aim..bend your knee as well as ur elbow and shoot..

on licence.

salam,

staying awake for the sake of this electronic journal (should/shouldn't)

ok, let me start with a weekly report

alhamdulillah, i pass.so, i'm now a new car license holder in house. no more pujuk rayu and belas kasihan coz me now can drive by myself but still i need my sisters to guide me and show me how to be a good driver. i still confuse with gears and when should i use the hand brake and what so ever. again, alhamdulillah. the journey to pass the jpj tests is not as easy as taking off the nutshell. it takes a very long time to master as well as to build the confidence in me to drive on the road while enjoying a few series of blabbering..haha..

my first class after holidaying for about 6 months was terribly worst. i forgot everything from A to Z and the instructor kept  blabbering at me and vomiting lots of irritating+annoying words. fuhh. praise be to Allah for making me strong and survive. for me, he was not a good role model but he was a good teacher coz without his guidance, i would never know my mistake and learn from it. tq sensei garang..

lets' move to the next hot and top news (wordless news)

north or south

salam,

making a decision.owh, it's really not me. i need a million days for a small simple decision.  i'm still stuck in my messy room while the others are already walking down to the bus stop and the will surely get home early than me. i'm so jealous but what should i do. i have to wait and think wisely and double critically before i regret in the coming future. a golden chance will never come back once it has gone. this feeling of rindu is indescribable. owh, if you ask me why now. why i miss my school?for what i miss them all damn much?i have no answer. but my women instinct says that syahira is terribly missing something until the object comes into her dream and she dreams of staying at a place where she has lots of her missing friends. owh, if you all know dear all my friends. if only we share the same nerve cord, then i can send you all my love messages. i dun have to be there but still i know what are you all doing there.  i wanna go there but i've no one to accompany me. i wanna be there but i dunno what should i do once i get a chance of standing in front of the object that comes into my dream which is happened to be the school entrance. muahaha..am i crazy or is this what we called hormone confusion as usually a sane human will miss human but me, i miss my school. if i miss someone and i get a chance of meeting them, i will surely hug them. how if i miss the building?am i going to do the same as what i always do to human..haha, can't imagine.

50% says yes and the other half says no. but i think i'm gonna choose the other 50% of no. mak says its too far and its dangerous.tq bersih for making my journey to where i belong smooth and safe. literally tq. the first strong reason of me not being able to be there is i'm not destined to be there and the second strong reason is because of the worry of a mother. if i'm at my mum place, i will feel the same. these days, roadblocks are everywhere and i can't imagine tomorrow. i really hope it'll be a real safe assembly although it has caused traffic jams here and there. actually, it is not bersih's fault, it is our coward government actually. ntahla, i'm not sure which one is good or bad. i'm in the middle of both parties..haha.sometimes, i just wanna see them both together. i mean the gov and the opponents. if they choose to unite, i believe, malaysia is going to be a strong islamic country. lets pray for it. lets stop fighting. when a trouble comes, lets be together to correct it and not just pointing to whom responsibility it is.

ok, back to my business, let's not talk about that unimportant thing. thinking about it makes me sick. i hate our current political state. full of negativeness.my love flies to a place where i belong rite now. north of Malaysia. i love my school years. i'll surely choose to turn my time back to my school time if only i have the chance of choosing. but, i dun. i really dun have any choice other than looking forward. hello syahira, wake up..stop missing the school building like there's no tomorrow. iA, there will be tomorrow. tomorrow will bring you to where you really wanna go. to where you say you are belong to. hoping for this feeling will last forever and ever as well as our friendship dear all friends.

hoping for everything to go smoothly and you're all enjoyed and have a blast!!!dun forget to tell me your experience tau dear sbpikp's bloggers. will wait to read your version.

on reading routine/plan

salam,

what a blessing when i finally hit few of my targets  for this few weeks in just one day. you can see me smile tomorrow. a proud 8.6 cm open mouth smile. alhamdulillah, finally, after about 3 weeks struggling to finish where rainbows end as well as to munch it and put myself into the situation of Rosie. Few of my friends gave me a negative signs yet i still stubborn to read it and understand it by myself. actually, we're all different and unique. e.g: in evaluating things. i rate where rainbows end as wow and it is not bad at all. at least, it leaves a small pieces of values in me as a reader. i choose to be Rosie. a wonderful women who is happened to give birth to a baby girl, Katie at a very young age of 18. Everything is just happened and there's no rewind button for her. she is such a patient and wise woman. having a very loyal friend, Alex makes her strong again although she does not feel so after conceiving an unwanted pregnancy. Her plans, wishes, hopes and aims are scattered in pieces but her strong will to live her life makes her human. She is just like other woman who is always in need of someone to share anything with and to hug and kiss.......the end..if you are interested to know more. feel free to visit my room and i'll make you read it.

thinking of adding my books collection. i've marked few interesting books such as thousand splendid suns by Khaled Houssini and A Doctor in house 'Dr Mahathir bi Mohamad memoirs" (this is actually for ichiro as ichiro has been asking for it since a few months back.need to ask the owner's permission before unwrapping and read it). i'm planning of reading a few English Islamic books as i really wanna feel the feeling of reading few formal books and get use to its bombastic languages in it. growing old means i have to move a step further.

be wise!!!!!!!!!!

salam,

tonight's gonna be a good night..coz allowance is just coming in. coz for the first time in this three weeks of new sem, i successfully use my free time wisely and able to finish doing all my targeted works and isls for this month. well done syahira. u've done a very great job.keep it up.my previous experiences of staying up all the night and doing almost everything in a very short time were crazily hectic. seeing the results of my rush works made me feel even more hectic and tension.

trust this old experienced lady, a last minute work will never turn to be an excellent work. it'll always be a messy and non quality work. learn from past experience. learn from the past experiences. do it early and systematically. staying up today is better than tomorrow when the exams and courseworks are hunting for you.

ingat!!!!be systematic. dun waste ur time for something unnecessary when u've lots of important things to do. plan your time wisely. use your time wisely. remember this, time will never wait for us.

on my dream comes true

salam

RM 500 for a camera as well as a new handbag..worth isn't? thanks for the fisherwoman, Siti Aminah Ismail...i'll update later after i get my chance to see it and to touch it and to try it..let's see what will i say..at least, few of my wishes for this sem have been fulfilled. now, i can draw a massive straight line on it..haha.

on anniversary

Salam,

Happy anniversary to me and all my first batch gangs. 4th July 2004- Dec 2008.

today, i miss my secondary school days. memories..please occupy my dream world tonight. its hard to describe my feelings rite now. it mixes. i'm happy for i'm no longer a selekeh girl back then when i was in school. i'm now a fully grown up lady with full of dreams and hopes and aims. smelly with crooked tudung, sleepy eyes, serious faces, yellow teeth n etc . normal phenomena for boarding schools students and non boarding too. Our teachers used to our natural perfume. they loved us no matter how comot we were or how cute we were. they used to our sleepy eyes esp when the exams were around the corner except for boys. its their hobby as well as their learning strategy. they slept in class yet they scored in exams. they played and giggled and running here and there and teased us during prep classes, yet they would still score in exams.they will only study when they felt like they had no other choices to score in exams other than doing some revisions. girls, study xangkat muka.boys, muka nak pandang buku jenuh paksa. these all happened when i was in upper form as well as lower form.

lower form was such a miserable phase for me. being away from my family made me strong and survive. my first month without any public phone. only He knew my feeling. crying was my routine just like eating. Calling was a necessity for a 13 years old teenager who was still fragile and knew nothing about the hassle of living alone. i had no other choices other than adapting to the sudden changes. no balik kampung every week. no phone calls. no outings. doing weeping job all alone in the toilet while flushing or making some noises in it. it was my friend's idea. i still remember her words "kalau nak nangis, nangisla waktu mandi. xde sapa tau"..i did apply your theory up until now when i feel like crying and dun want people to notice it.:)

i was ikramian for three years, itqanian for 2 years, umarian and ikupian for about 5 years and forever ikupian. the teachers, friends and every single of thing there are part of my growing.they teach me about love, hate, dream, hope, mission, vision, maturity, friendship, togetherness, struggling, happy, sad and most of everything in life there. the only thing that i learn only after i leave my love in life is appreciating.

above is just a simple dimple story. planning of writing more and more details but my mind says stop it coz it will take years to cover all the priceless experiences. its uncountable and i believe if i'm good in writing i'll compile all my school days experience in writing form and keep it under my pillow.whenever i feel like going back into my old days world, i'll reread my journal in hoping for a wonderful dream of a smelly student whom only learns to appreciate things after leaving it . not for sale coz no one could afford to buy it.

i haven't had any chance to walk in the snow or climb up the Mount of Averest but i have a priceless experience of climbing up the highest place in the land of SBPIKP.

on reading and results

salam,


5 days without any post. i dun feel like visiting or updating  my blog though i have lots of free time and 24 hours online. i'm currently reading a novel by cecelia ahern. this is my second time reading where rainbows end and its not bad at all and sometimes can be very bad and sometimes can be very helpful to boost up the secretion of my sleep hormone. rate: 3stars minus one. it has been a week since i start reading it and i'm now at chapter 19 which means quite a lot more chapters to go.brrrr!!! i can't stop reading it without knowing the ending. if the author knows my style, i bet she'll be very happy to have a very loyal reader like me.muahahah. once i start, i must finish it tho it might take a year or a decade to finish it. my first time reading this novel was during my long break after SPM. at that time, i was so naive as well as lazy. lazy to open my big fat dictionary. better guess the meaning of certain weirdo words rather than referring it to bigfatbook or any other sources. i pretended to understand everything. end up, i knew nothing except i read a book by Cecelia Ahern and it was fun maybe and the characters involved was Alex, Katie, Rosie, Stephanie and few more. hurm. childish . aiming to finish rather than to understand.


this week: result is officially out. alhamdulillah. i hit my target. alhamdulillah.