but still a big dreamer
met my lecturer just now and she said " do you wanna look at your assignments?". we nervously replied "yeah, opkos la nak"
when i first looked at my marks, i stopped for a while and turned to her. " why i got this mark?". she answered " you don't put any reference, how can i give you more" okay. no doubt.
the end.
she started her motherly babbling. you could be better. you should share with your friends. sometimes, i just wondered what have you learnt during your primary and secondary school? what makes you now? those were not rare. they often asked us. i think, when my time comes, i'll ask my students the same questions too.
too often we replied, we learned to memorize essay when we were in primary as well as in secondary. we never got a chance to love English. Some said, i think, those who did excellently in English during their school years were naturally good in English. hurm..this statement is being unfair to the English teachers out there.
my lecturer often said, our schooling system made us think English is a foreign language.this statement is always true.
before our conversation ended, she asked us to share with our friends, "what's your turning point to love English?"
..............
i can feel the urge in me to share coz i've such experience. i've experienced the turning point that makes who I am now. being me, the one who is still sad with the previous years and memories that bring me here. my only answer is the triple one nine .
it was three years ago when i really realized the importance of English in my life. if i ever have a chance, i would love to try to forget those memories. can i start it over again?can i do it over again so that i can hit my hopes and ambitions. i'm a very ambitious lady. i'm a big dreamer. i love dreaming. i wanna be somebody. i wanna be a law practitioner. i wanna rule the world.eyh2, tokleh2. human can't rule this world. since i was in secondary school, i had had a dream of living a life of my dream. the dreams left untouchable.
i cried when a few friends of mine told me that they had to attend for interviews. that was my dream.
the conclusion is "I've had the experience of heartbroken". i hate that feeling.
i still remember when my sister phoned me and she said "jangan sedih tau, hang xdapat pun k.da rasa". my hopes and dreams broke into pieces. i was not crying but deep inside me i hate myself. from that on, i dared not to dream big.
today, i know and i realise why the sponsorships dare not to waste their money for me.
how come they would easily spend their money to someone who gets C band in triple one nine.
looks, how English makes your life different.
i do believe in fate but there's always a reason why it happens.
sedih tak entri ni?hihihi
but i wont' give up. i'm going to rule my students. it has been 3 years since I call myself teacher. It has been 3 years since everywhere I go, people will call me 'cikgu'. hahaha. i just don't know what makes them call me teacher. not even once i wear name tag when i'm outside of school compound.
English is fun..
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| pengsan!!! |
me, =)
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