Sunday, 18 April 2010

Stop crying..

my name is khan..i'm not a terrorist.superb.it touches my small heart.i'm crying while enjoying this movie alone.ehm.i forgot to tell my readers something.im alone.my roommate is going back to her hometown.i feel extremely boring.Staying alone is actually not my choice.but what could i do.most of my friends advice me to just go home.i hate my weekend here.i've nothing to do.just stay in my room.waiting the weekdays to come back.**back to the real..in this story, Shah Rukh plays the character of Rizwan Khan. He is suffering from the Asperger syndrome which is an autism disorder. He is married to Kajol  who plays the character of a girl named Mandira.i cannot stop from crying when i see his effort in order to achieve his mission.it's not easy for him.but he tries.he never give up.he is not as normal as other human.but his great intention makes everything become easy.in reality, it is hard to find someone who are willing to sacrifice their own happiness, properties n everything for islam..why?? "insan" is arrogant.they only care about dunia.although they know that everything di dunia is just for awhile. This movie make me think. If i'm the one who is worth and to be given the opportunity to further studies overseas or married with a new muslim etc, can i protect my believe..can i bring them with me..can i show them the beauty of islam.can i sacrifice everything that i have for my islam..i think and keep thinking..actually i know the answer : )..i must.no argument.im a muslim and i'm proud.im really proud.i was born muslim and i'll protect it forever..islam is the only way.islam for a better life.islam teaches us about the real happiness..The true happiness can only being obtained by living a life full of God-consciousness and being satisfied with what God has given us

"In the Holy Qur'an, God teaches human beings that they were created in order to worship Him, and that the basis of all true worship is God-consciousness. Since the teachings of Islamic encompass all aspects of life and ethics, God-consciousness is encouraged in all human affairs. Islam makes it clear that all human acts are acts of worship if they are done for God alone and in accordance to His Divine Law. As such, worship in Islam is not limited to religious rituals. The teachings of Islam act as a mercy and a healing for the human soul, and such qualities as humility, sincerity, patience and charity are strongly encouraged. "

Let us Muslim protect our religion..protect our Muslim friends from janji yang xkekal selamanya. We have a huge responsibilty of protecting our islam. we must..that our responsibility..ALLAHUAKBAR..

 Again..back to the real..i cannot stop crying whenever i see him crying. Rizwan is not stupid and he is really special..in this movie la..but the real shah rukh khan?? ntahla.muslim??

~the end~

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 it has been bout 5 days since my last post..i've a lot of things to share. but it is quite personal.so i decide i'll write some and some maybe not..why??because it involves people around me.i'll bury all my problems.I hate it all..i've gone through some difficulties throughout this week. whenever i feel really hurt, i'll cry alone.pretend to be happy. but i cannot. my face shows everything. my friends start asking me..why aa??ur face looks weird.haa..look like u've problems..hurm.i keep pretending..nothing la.just a small problem.i can conquer it by myself.really?? the truth is i cant..friday, i cannot pretend anymore. finish class..i enter my room with a very weird face.mcm de problem besar sgt.actually nothing.just small simple problem but i keep thinking about it.i deteriorate my problems..then, i take my position on my bed.take out my cute diary..write everything down..no exception.what makes me feel very bad throughout this week..finish.i buy my lunch from mami..if u're there at that time..u'll keep looking at me with a weird face..why??i eat xtra bnyak..sgt banyak.thats my secret, if i've any problems..tension ke.the only thing that can make me feel happy is eating..i'll eat n eat..until xmampu dh..then i'll stop..luckily, my average weight is still 40 although i take a lot of fats n calories per day..thats why i love eating..simple**huhu..




Tuesday, 13 April 2010

i sit alone....

i sit alone n thinking about something.It relates to my future.I realize that I should plan something so that i have my own goals for my future..i trust it has a great role in determining my future..n here..Once you have set your lifetime goals, set a 25 year plan of smaller goals that you should complete if you are to reach your lifetime plan. Then set a 5 year plan, 1 year plan, 6 month plan, and 1 month plan of progressively smaller goals that you should reach to achieve your lifetime goals. Each of these should be based on the previous plan.I have read this from an article entitled Personal Goal Setting : Find direction, Live your Life your way. It is a wonderful article. I  read it twice since last week. I'm very interested in creating my own goals aka aims..

Goal setting is an important method of:
  • Deciding what is important for you to achieve in your life.
  • Separating what is important from what is irrelevant, or a distraction.
  • Motivating yourself.
  • Building your self-confidence, based on successful achievement of goals.
Our goals will change as time goes on..We can adjust them regularly to reflect growth in our knowledge and experience.We can let them go if goals do not hold any attraction any longer..But, i have meet someone that really hinge on her goals..She is willing to do anything in order to achieve her goals in her life. Finally, she manages to make it..She refuses to be a teacher. Then, she makes her decision to stop forcing herself. She goes into a new job that she really admirers. She takes risk but she knows what is she doing..Thats for the sake of her life. She wants to enjoy and achieve everything that she has planned for his life..So, why not i'm trying to do so.

Here my long term goals..

Career:
Degree 24..
Master before 30..

Education:
Currently, im  a tesl student..Iam studying english because i wanna be an eng teacher..huhu
i wanna learn everything about sewing and cooking..
master in ???dunn0 yet..i need time to think about it.

Family:
Im going to get married at the age of 27 or 28..having babies??ofcos..: )

Financial:
Im going to budget my expenses and save as much as I can and keep my life as organize as possible.im gonna travel around the world using that money..huhu..Thats why I need someone who is ready mentally and physically and money to follow me travel around this world..huhu.**harapan.This is one of the reason why i am not going to get married as early as 24 or 25..no way.i wanna enjoy my life first..travel..doing everything that i want..

Physical:
Keep healthy!! Tone my body..
25 years old= 45 kg..ideal weight.. : )

Public Service:

I wanna join mercy...i wanna fell what they feel..i wanna share my experience with others in Malaysia if they give me the opportunity to join them. My sister said that everyone can join them..criteria : u're working n u're educated..s0 that u can use your abilities and knowledge to help others..


*_*

Wednesday, 7 April 2010

M y p0em not y0urs

I am an unlucky cat
 
I am an unlucky cat
I wonder why I have four legs I hear people yelled at me 
I see their angry faces 
I want to slap them 
I am unlucky cat

I pretend I could change their perception towards me
I feel hurt
I touch my face 
I worry I cannot stand anymore
I cry loudly
I am a cat

I understand who am I
I say I must be patient
I dream I can make human appreciate me 
I try to get some attention 
I hope there is no hatred towards me
I am a cat.....


Diamond poem

Mummy
Sexy, Pretty
Cooking Washing Taking 
Adorable Wonderful- Fearful Serious
Working Thinking Tiring
Handsome Smart 
Daddy


Working vs blogging


 My working station
It has been 3 days since my last post..tonight i force myself to write something..im quite busy these days.there are a lot of things that i need to do..to complete it..to finish it alone.tomorrow will be the most difficult crucial day in my life throughout this month...i need to face an oral presentation..alone.i need to talk in front of madam rock and my friends for about 6-10 mins.im struggling now.i manage to memories one of da paraghraph from my critical essay..the other 4..i cant..im lazy.i prefer to write than read..hurm..actually i've something to reveal..im really really sad.i've met madam Nadia today..actually we've class with her..sHE asks us bout our result..n when it comes to ldv..hurmm..im proudly announced my ****..i know..its disappointing her..sory madam..i wont do it in the future..i'll make u feel proud..but it cannot be as good as some of my friends..of course i really need time..i need my friends to help me..push me..i know..im a lazy.but how??what should i do??i need my friends to correct me..force me..push me.hurmm.

i forgot something..tq..thankz..arigatougozaimasu..syukran..to all of my friends..they are always with me..they comfort me when im really sad..they always said.

"GO SYIRA!!DONT GIVE UP..FAIL SKALI BKAN B'MAKNA FAIL FOREVER.."

im proud to have all of u with me..always with me. u raise me up when i feel very sad n disappointed with myself... 
thankz100x

______________________________________________

Here, i've some tips for women in order to be a great wife in the future..i grab it from one of my seniors blog..he is currently at Al Azhar University..Struggling to become a famous doc in the future.lets pray for his success..

Untuk Isteri-isteri para Pejuang


Kutuliskan poem ini untuk para pejuang Islam di manapun berada. Jangan pernah meninggalkan perjuangan di jalan Allah. Betapa seluruh hajat hidup seharusnya bertumpu pada kepentingan perjuangan di jalan Allah termasuk menikah, berkeluarga, bersuami isteri. Inilah tren pernikahan yang seharusnya kita pertahankan. Wallahu a’lam

Buat manusia istimewa dalam hidup ini… dan juga isteri-isteri pejuang… serta bakal isteri seorang pejuang

Isteriku….

Apabila kusentuh telapak tanganmu…

Saat kuusap dan kurasakan guratannya,

Kudapatkan parutan kasar dan semakin kasar….

Dan ketika kupandangi wajahmu….

Terpancar sinar bahagia dan ketenangan walaupun kutahu…

Redup matamu menyimpan satu rintihan yang memberat….

Ketika kutersentak dari pembaringan di kala fajar kadzib menyingsing…

Aku terpana dengan munajatmu yang syahdu.

Isteriku…

Tatkala teman-temanmu tengah bersantai, happy fun….

Di keramaian dunia ciptaan mereka…

Engkau bahagia mengorbankan seluruh detik-detikmu….

Hanya untuk Islam dan keagungan muslimin…

Tatkala lengan-lengan mereka dibaluti…

Pelbagai hiasan yang indah…

Leher-leher mereka memberat dilingkari dengan kilauan emas berlian…

Pakaian-pakaian anggun bak puteri kayangan…

Wajah mereka dibaluti pelbagai warna dan jenama…

Kau umpama ladang ummah…

Kau menginfaqkan seluruh jiwa dan raga demi kebangkitan Islam…

Kau tak pernah bersungut-sungut, mengeluh, meminta-minta maupun

mengadu domba…

Tatkala mereka berlomba-lomba mengejar pangkat dan nama…

Kau sibuk menjulang nama dengan pengaduanmu di sisi yang Esa…

Isteriku….

Bukan aku tidak mampu membelikan benda dan hiasan-hiasan tersebut…

Tetapi isteriku…

Aku masih ingat tatkala aku menyuntingmu untuk kujadikan isteri dan penghuni kamar hatiku….

Kau melafazkan satu tuntutan, “Saya siap mendampingi perjuangan ini bersama akhi tetapi dengan syarat…” Sambil tersenyum kau menghela nafas dalam-dalam….

Aku termangu sendirian… Syarat apakah itu? Bungalow kah? Hamparan tanah berhektar-hektar kah? Mobil mewahkah? Intan berliankah? Pakaian sutera yang high class? Perabot mahal dari Itali kah?… Atau honeymoon di Paris ?..

Lama kau mengumpulkan kekuatan untuk sekedar berkata…

Akhirnya…

Arghhh… Permintaanmu itu…

Pasti ditertawakan oleh kerabat dan teman-teman kita…

Aku tergugu, haru dan bangga…

Dengan penuh keyakinan kau berkata..

“Akhi , Mampukah akhi menjadikan saya sebagai isteri yang

kedua ?….

Mampukah akhi menjadikan Islam sebagai isteri pertama yang lebih memerlukan perhatian?…

Mampukah akhi meletakkan kepentingan Islam melebihi segala-galanya termasuk urusan-urusan dunia?…

Mampukah akhi menjual diri semata-mata karena Islam?..

Mampukah akhi berkorban meninggalkan kelezatan dunia?…

Mampukah akhi menjadikan Islam laksana bara api….

Akhi perlu menggenggamnya agar bara itu terus menyala…

Mampukah akhi menjadi lilin yang rela membakar diri untuk Islam..

Bukannya seperti lampu pijar yang bisa di’on’kan bila perlu dan di’off’kan bila tidak….

Mampukah akhi mendengar hinaan yang bakal dilontarkan kepada anda karena perjuangan anda….

Dan…mampukah akhi menjadikan saya isteri seorang pejuang yang tidak dimanja dengan fatamorgana dunia?…

Aduh! Banyaknya syarat-syarat itu isteriku…

Namun aku menerima syarat-syarat tersebut karena aku tahu..

Jiwamu kosong dari syurga dunia…

Karena aku tahu kau mampu mengubah dunia ini dengan iman dan akhlakmu..

Bukannya kau yang diubah oleh dunia…

Isteriku..

Akhirnya jadilah engkau penolong setiaku sebagai nakhoda mengemudi bahtera kehidupan kita…

Susah senang kita tempuh bersama…

Aku terharu dengan segala kebaikanmu…

Kau jaga akhlakmu…

Kau pelihara maruahmu selaku muslimah…

Kau tak pernah mengeluh apabila sering ditinggalkan demi tugasku menegakkan Islam ke persada agung….

Kau jua sanggup mengekang mata menungguku sambil memberikan aku suatu senyuman terindah di ambang pintu tatkala aku pulang lewat malam….

Malah kau seringkali meniupkan semangat untuk aku terus tsabat di pentas perjuangan ini….

Kau tabur bunga-bunga jihad walaupun kita masih jauh dari keharuman kemenangan…

Isteriku..

Tangkasnya engkau selaku isteri…

Biarpun kau jua sibuk bersama mengorbankan tenaga dalam perjuanganku ini..

Kau jaga relasi kita dengan indahnya…

Kau siraminya dengan wangian cinta dan kasih sayang….

Kau tak pernah menjadikan kesibukanmu itu untuk kau lari dari amanahmu meskipun jadualmu padat dengan agenda-agenda bersama masyarakat dan kaum sejenismu….

Cekalnya engkau mendidik anak-anak…

Kau kenalkan mereka dengan Allah, Rasul saw, para sahabat yang mulia serta para

pejuang Islam…

Kau titipkan semangat mereka sebagai generasi pelapis jundullah…

Kau asuh mereka hidup dengan Al Quran…

Malah kau temani mereka mengulangkaji pelajaran dikala menjelang imtihan…

Isteriku…

Tangan yang mengayun buaian dapat mengguncang dunia…

Kau beri didikan dua generasi sekaligus, generasi kini dan generasi kan datang

Suamimu dan anak-anakmu dengan MAHABBAH

….WAHAI ISTERIKU….

Sunday, 4 April 2010

weekend..

hurmm..no pc fair..we've change our plan..we're not going to pc fair..but dumbar..huhu..0wh pc fair..come again..i'll keep more money..n i'll get what i want so0n..but not n0w..no one wanna go there..so.the result is..i cann0t go to0..it takes a long j0urney + we dont have enough money to go joli2...each person would have to pay bout 150$ (ppl +++)..so..400-150..balance 250..fuhh..im lucky..i've friends who are always make me realize my mistake..i cannot joli2 yet..we've to keep it..use it when needs..use it wisely..rite.u can joli puas2 next year..u'll get more money..s0 u can spend more...haha**..when i think about spend more..everything come across my mind..im going to buy a new phone..camera**yg dgital ek..LV.arghh..i cant wait that moment..i can buy what i want..go wherever i want..no one can stop me..it will be an incredible moment in my life..holding my degree..start teaching..get my salary...berangan**shopping..h0liday..Special to dat0'..don't forget!!!k0rea..you'll be my top sponsor..

bkt dumbar..last two months, i've broken my record..2 rounds..non-stop..n today..i'm very excited to annouce that i am able to keep my level..2 rounds..non-stop..but when it comes to sit up..its hard for me to lift up my body..i dunno why.maybe!!my tummy is getting bigger..no.no..n0.but..if i straight up my hand..i can do it..if i fold both my hand and put it below my head..then i cant.just 2 or 3 times..i'll stop doing it..but overall..i love my day..its a great day ever i had compared to the previous days..2 hours is more than enough for me to forget all my problems..to forget my pisa t0wer..hurmmm..i wanna go there.maybe not n0w..maybe i need to wait for someone to bring me there..


girls day out..tesc0..tesc0..tesc0.i think most of the workers there know us..we're familiar..every saturday..thats our must** place.sh0pping sket2..loitering..4 hours is not enough for us..1 hour for eating session *_*..the other 3 hour.loitering.sometimes we've no purpose at all.. just going there..watch people around us..gossiping..buy some foods n walk back..just imagine.every week.but until n0w, i still cannot memories all the shops there..hmmm..





Do i look like a mom??last month..i passed through the milk area..alone..no one follow m except afzan..shes behind me..finding her fav milk..suddenly one of the promoter walked towards me and asked me something that made me feel very bad..
the promoter : cari susu ke??ank bape blan.
^^ : haha.bru lhir..suddenly..xrancang..but it comes out with flow..
the promoter : skrang baby mnum susu pe??
^^ : bru nk cri susu..xde idea.**t'toleh2 cri afzan..nk glak sgt..


do i look like a mom..no rite but why the promoter asked me that kind of question..i laugh until my head comes off..maybe the way i dress up that day..My clothes do change me.I need to be more careful n alert with my style or else someone will greet me with hi nenek..no!!no!!no!!..





my bro in law's i phone..its w0nderful+awesome but its not mine..its costly..2000++..i dun have enough money..but its still in my waiting list..i want it.maybe not now..7 years later..but i dont have enough money..money!!money!!m0ney!!!im just a teacher..i'll find someone who can give me this gadget for free..hoh0ho..



Friday, 2 April 2010

o00pss..I miss sb..

i miss my mum..my uya..my homet0wn..my sisters..my nephew..i wanna go home.. release my tension..i got so much trouble on my mind..so much..i really need some rest..i wanna go somewhere and i dont care where..i dont mind at all..i just wanna shout really really loud..as loud as i can. i have a lot of bad thoughts in my head and I can hardly breathe. I need to shout it all out and clear it all from my small hard disk..pity her..my brain is just as small as my thumb but my problem..its hard for me to describe it..I am overwhelmed with lots of problem..but i dunn0 whats the problem??i keep trying to forget it..let it go from my mind..let it flies with the wind..but i cant.its hard to forget it.life is hard..its really hard for me n  its a hard life living here..let me try to be sincere..babbling..complaining..crying..hating..loving..forgiving..trying..studying..failure..succeed..that's my life now.my routine..everyday.my lecturers will get into  my class n give us some advice..its a routine.some of em will get angry with us.i dunno why...maybe b'coz of our behavior..i know..there are a lot of reasons why they did it.i can accept it..i start to digest it..accept it..love it..miss it..it makes me realize my mistakes..makes me become more matured from day to day..but it happens everyday..they are comparing us with others..i know they are trying to make us realize our mistakes..thakz my dear lecturers..but how..i cant see it..i cant see we'll change..please my dear friends..wake up!!lets' migrate together..make em proud of us..be active..change our bad behaviour..think about our future..i'm really sad when one of my lecturers said ' i cant see ur future'..why??we're trying to improve..give us chance..we wanna be as active, clever , polite  as our senior..but how..lead us..plz!!


I wanna go h0me!!wanna go home!!i can still remember when i was in form 5..every month..its a routine for me..pack up my things..g0 home..its a must or else i cant concentrate in my studying..i dont mind what people will say..i manje..thats me..homesick..thats me..until now..when i'm thinking about this, i start to realize something..ALLAH knows my weaknesses.. when i was in secondary school..i always pray to HIM..i wanna go far away from my mom..i keep mention it in front of my mom n sis..i wanna go far away from all of u.i wanna study far..work far from all of u...i dunno why..but deep in my heart.. i cant..2 weeks away from home..i start to miss all of em' esp my mom..huhu..luckily, i got kmpp..it just takes about 1 hour form my home to arrive there..same goes to maktab..bout 1hour n ++ from my home..later, when i wanna get married..i'll make sure..my hubby org dkat2 je..xlbeyh 1oo km..lg dkat lg best..xyah berebut nk balik kg..huhu...mission to be completed****

ooOPps..since i'm not going back to my hometown this week, i'll go somewhere..pc fair..yuuhuu..i've planned my budget..i wanna find something.. i cant announce it yet until i get it..later i'll announce it..but it's not really expensive..it's very important for me..i've mnabung for a quite a long time to get it..i'll buy it..if not tomorrow..later i'll get it..must..

**i've deleted my previous post..there's alo of mistakes there..i'll post a new one..special for my cute lil sister..








~smile to the world~
"___"