the day i turned 23

assalamualaikum,

it has been awhile. alhamdulillah. alhamdulillah. alhamdulillah. i celebrated my 23rd birthday last 15th September. i was still in pantai timur the day i turned 23.

we were in Wakaf Che Yeh on that night doing girly thingy; shopping. we celebrated at the nearby Old Town and went back at 2 am. kalau mak mentua tahu tak jadi buat menantu. hihihihi.

they sang the yearly song while we're crossing the road. i hated that song coz it made me feel old.

seronok kalau selalu boleh buat mcm ni. birthday excursion gitu.

pagi tu pegi ketereh. melawat baby afrina. petang tu pegi pantai sabak. kengkonon nak main banana boat.

i really had fun to the max.

last but not least, semoga umur yang panjang ini diberkati oleh Allah s.w.t.

till then, ☺

action research

assalamualaikum,

eh. tetiba rajin berblog. mood baik. kerja dah siap. hihuhi. alhamdulillah. yesterday was the most awaited day since almost one year ago. it's viva or action research presentation.

let us revisit the journey to reach to this extend. bajet mcm buat phd. hahahaha. lantak. alhamdulillah. alhamdulillah. alhamdulillah. i won't be able to do this without Allah s.w.t. He is the one who never left me alone through the ups and downs. He is the one who made me alive and gave me the strength i needed every time when i felt like giving up. He is Allah s.w.t the most Gracious and the most Beneficial.

last year, i planned to do research on thinking maps but Allah s.w.t has the best plan for me. i went to school and one of the senior teacher suggested 'why didn't you do research on language games?'. i went home and think until my head ached. i met my lecturer the week after and discussed with her. so, that's the beginning of my research.

actually, i had planned everything beforehand. i had submitted 2 drafts on thinking maps. pheww. lucky, it was not last minute decision to change the topic. meaning to say, i still had ample time to redo everything. finding the sources. looked for literature reviews. the suitable games. and so on so forth. so stress.

owh, i just couldn't describe the journey penuh  pancaroba co it was my very first time dealing with research. even my friends who always acted cool showed stress facial expressions. apetah lagi aku yang sedia stress setiap masa. hahahaha.

i did card games. i made it from the scratch. buying the poker cards. searched the pictures. pasted on the cards. haish. remeh!

the implementation part was the most challenging journey. pheww. dealing with kids. aiyaa. macam2. lucky, i got year 5. they were more understanding. tu pun. jenuh weyh. nak ngajo lagi. nak rakam lagi. ape ingat senang??? nak cater yg xdatang lagi. kalau xdatang dah tak berapa nak valid. tapi ada gak finding hasil penipuan. if i waited for all to present to conduct my intervention. tahun depan lepas raya kot siap. lucky research degree ja. kalau masters phd. jawab jumpa psychiatrist la. tekanan perasaan.lol.

the process of collecting the data went smooth with some cheating here and there. hahaha. lantak. budak zaman sekarang liat sungguh nak datang sekolah hari2. apesal? tak guna sabun lifebuoy ke? kalau semua datang aku takde kelas ngan diorang. ko ingat senang jadi cikgu? pheww. ada masa rasa nak bagi kaki ja. sakit hati. tapi tak bagi la. xpasal famous mcm pemilik cdm 25. kekeke. nauzubillah.

report pulak. adoyai. serabut alam. i had been studying linguistics, grammar, how to teach english, philosophies and theories for years. suddenly, i needed to deal with numbers. hahaha. tak mungkin!!! jammed otak ibarat laptop ada virus trojan. however, i made it with the help of sleepless nights, calculator, microsoft word, microsoft excel, spss and afzan.

besides, transcribe and coding  were another hassles. i had to replay the interview recording and wrote down every details of the conversations. menangis buat ni. amatlah bosan tahap boleh menangis. this answered why teachers in schools they refused to do research though they must do at least one per year.

whatever it was, i felt glad for the opportunity and the experience. life is not the primrose path. tak sentiasa senang dan gumbira. eh.

i won't forget this forever. my very first research which made me a young researcher. wekk. haha

till then, xo

schu got married. (like a dream suddenly comes true)

assalamualaikum,

alhamdulillah 3la kullihal.

finally, my crazy naughty friend found her other half and they are now happily married. alhamdulillah. their story will always inspire me. one day, Allah s.w.t will give me a man of my dream. i remember few years ago, we were in our class during recess. i sketched on the whiteboard and wrote down my classmates' opinions on the board. Schu said she wanted to get married soon and her husband must be an ustaz. wow, amazingly, years after that, she found her other half who's an ustaz. hebatkan percaturan Allah s.w.t. to Allah, i surrender. i accept whatever the best for me. sooner or later, i don't mine. i will try not to think about this so much. my sister said, just enjoy your life. sooner, it will come. 

okay, i was assigned to be the bridesmaid but i was so late. i only managed to play my role during the walimatulurus. i missed the most important scene in schu's life. yess, the solemnization. so sad. i would want to witness the most important moment in her life. sadly, i missed it. pheww. i wished i could turn the time but schu refused. she's now happily married tahap belangkas uolls.

itu je kot, i loved the simplicity of the wedding. i wished i could bring my mom along so i could show her a wedding of my dream. i don't want a fairy tale wedding. i just want a simple one but perfect. amekau.

the food was so delicious. if i were schu, i would feel very contented and syukur with what she had on her wedding. the food was delicious. her dress was beautiful and modest. she had a beautiful dais. she successfully made her dream come true which was getting married before our graduation which iA will be next year. her make up was minimal but she looked stunning.

last but not least, barakallahulakuma wajama3 bainakuma fikhair, my dear gossip gang.  have a blessed marriage. may Allah s.w.t grant both of you beautiful daughters and sons soon. retain the 'sweetness' for more years ahead please. omputeh kata. till death do us apart. papetah.

let's take a look at a picture of the newlywed and soon to be bride (entah bila?)

till then, xo

thanks for reading! opps, if you really read lah. (stick out my tongue)

mukhayyam

assalamualaikum.

wow, it has been awhile since my last post. it takes forever for me to type even an entry. too lazy to sit down and click this keyboard. so mengantuk these days. asyik2 tido.

last week, i joined a mukhayyam. 'camping' in english. it was organized by ikram penang. ikram is an NGO. i've been joining usrah since i first came here. i joined the activities organized by the NGO sometimes but not always due to time management. lol. faham tak aku main ayat?

owh, i felt blessed coz this time i managed to join the mukhayyam though i was late one day. the day before mukhayyam, i went to ipoh to witness schu's solemnization. my classmate merangkap my gossip-mate. now, no longer since she's staying outside with her husband.

oh. back to mukhayyam. it was fun. not really relaxing. the schedule was tight from morning till night. in fact, we had a war just after maghrib prayer. pheww. i really enjoyed.

they said, the main objective was to prepare us for a real war soon. haha. xde lah. we're nothing comparable to al-qassam. there must be an objective. scroll down and read if wanna know more. kikiki. 

they made us prepare for the war since after zuhr prayer. the war only stroke after maghrib. they wanted to see what would we do while waiting for the war to evolve. only one of my cliques brought along al quran and the other one brought along mathurat. so, what do u think we should do? recite the holy quran while waiting and not just sit back, relax and chit chat. pheww. i learnt a lot of ibrahs from the pretend war. so, friends, what did you do while waiting for another lecture or while waiting for your friends? Did you recite Holy Quran and you are just so busy scrolling down instagram to get up-to-date. DEEP. i always do the upside down. i spend time chit chatting and laugh. how aaa to change the habits?

the facilitators provoked us. they gave us no food. they conducted a small game in between of the waiting time. the group which won the game got food first. whilst, the other group needed to wait until the queen of the land decided to grant them foods.

the second game in between of the waiting period needed us to sent three representatives. one needed to memorize a long verse from the Holy Quran. I forgot which surah. The other two needed to pop the other clique's balloon by stomping on it.

when the war began, i felt like i was in a real war. we set up our fortress on the hill while the other clique set up their fortress down the hill. they reminded us not to become over aggressive since the creek was quite steep.

we planned  our strategy. each group must elect a commander. she sat up on the creek giving instructions. I felt surreal. like a dream. bajet alice in the warland.

we were given 40 bullets (balloons filled with water). we must target the enemy and shoot. they would be considered died if the balloon really hit their body parts and not by the sprinkles of the water.

in between of the war, my cliques had a biggest problem. world problem! we were running out of bullets. so, we had to face them bravely. hahahah. it's hard for me to describe. coz when you're in war, you would just go with the flow. i advanced forward with a few others while holding a tray. we ate in a tray sharing with 11 persons. huwaaa. we washed cleanly and used them as our shields. hahaha. creative kan. we throw tyres towards the enemies while marching forward so that we could ambush their fortress and steal away the panji. haha. coz if we managed to get the panji. we would be considered as the winner.

we (my group), finally, managed to steal away the panji and won the game. haha. as a present, i injured my left knee. huhu.

we, then, had a barbecue night. we had a muhasabah session. lotsa ldks. (in group discussions).

we enjoyed!

all in all, i loved outdoor activities more than talk sessions. hahahah. that's why i highlighted on this game in this writing. huhu.

i could memorize more only by 'doing' rather than listening and reading.

okay, habis dah cerita. now, let the pictures do the wrap up

usrahmates

Kem Rimba Kota where we had our girls camping. rockss!!

presentation session

they're all adiks.

and, where we had our war. 

till then, assalamualaikum

robbers

assalamualaikum,

earlier today my sister told us in whatsapp that their college was put under darurat since there were robbery incidents happened. and surprisingly, the robbers warned the felo which block they targeted each night. i think that was the most scary event in life if it happened to me.

talking about that, earlier this morning, we're discussing about social problems. haiyaaa. i wonder what made them do so. i mean doing bad things such as robbery.

it happened in my college also. they had detected a man who always seen around the hostels. he went into the hostel when the trainees went out heading to classes. not only that, they did very smoothly without leaving any trace or evidence. that made me feel insecure. to Allah, i rely. please take care of me, my baby sister, my sisters and my friends from any harms.

my sister said those people who targeted their college used pukau to rob the students. they took away lap tops, cash and handphones.

my condolences go to those who lost their belongings. it's not that easy to accept that you were losing things that you loved and had been taking care for years to someone unknown. kesian. beragakla. they earned only 250 per month. kesian bebudak.

to the robbers,
to Allah we rely. we are not afraid of you. bertaubatlah. it's never too late.
till then.

xo,
the clicking fingers.

day 1/ 120

assalamualaikum,

wowwee. so fast time flies. i wish i could turn the clock to saturday 8am. uwaaa. this week is going to be a super duper fun week with lots of workloads awaiting for me. due dates line up. macam biasa. last minute work is super fun. pastu mintak postpone due date. well, that's so Malay style.

i'm moving in into hostel today. they greeted me with the closed  gate. is that a symbol of unacceptance? there's no water supply in my hostel. i guessed those were n will be the best welcome back events forever.  

till then. must be sleepy tomorrow. well, monday blues.

karya kengkonon.

jodoh.
everytime i'm thinking of you
i'll tell myself
if it means to be mine
it will be mine.

today, tomorrow.
the time will come. 
i believe.
to Allah, i rely.