life is

Assalamualaikum,

Since this year marks my first year of working, my expectation is quite high. I've never been into the last class with almost 40 pupils. I think my life had never been this hard.

Often I said, I had nothing to do with you. If you're lazy, you are fool. Everyday, without fail.

To make it worse, I was assigned to join the year 6 teachers during extra class. Mine was the second last class. When the teacher was explaining in front of the classroom, the whole crowd at the back would make noise. There's so much noise that I could not even concentrate. The class was conducted right after school finished and imagined, the situation made me feel like fuhhhh.

I have so much to complaint but my journey is yet so far before I could establish myself as an experienced teacher.

Some seniors told me to let it go. Don't think too much. Just do your work and Enjoy!!!! Teaching is not a joyful thingy when your kids could not grab what you have taught them. arghhhhh.

Like today, I made one of the pupils in year 4 crying. She was not paying attention and she did not complete her homework. To make it worse, when I was explaining in front, she could stand and having a beautiful relaxing conversation with her best friend. I approached her and slapped her back once. fuhhh. i took her book and placed on top of her head. I hoped all the knowledge would fall down into your head. She cried.

I felt bad but I could not take away my words no more. If I consoled her, the rest of the her friends would take it easy. They might look at me as a coward. See...... It's so difficult!

Who says teaching is easy..... Come, replace me! ...I just want to quit my job now! Yes, I'm that emotional....

Sorry baby, I was not a British teacher. I wasn't a Western teacher who really believed on the power of rewards. With my kids, there's no such word.

xo,