the day i turned 24

assalamualaikum,

For my own record.

I celebrated my 24th birthday in a place far away from my hometown. I celebrated with my awesome housemates, alhamdulillah. Received endless wishes from my nearest friends and my dearest love, F. He made a video for me since he accidentally fell asleep that night. My pupils sang birthday songs for me. I said thank you and told them to stop because I wanna stay young. I don't celebrate birthday. like serious? hahaha

Received one stalk of rose and some present from F and housemate. Thank you so much guys for the memories. 

Hopefully, next year, I could celebrate my birthday with my dearest love. a simple wish and aim for 2016; to get the certificate of HALAL from pejabat agama.

I listed down my aims. 

Allah s.w.t has the best plan for me.  

reason no 2

assalamualaikum,

i overheard my housemates was gossiping about someone in their friend's school got married to a gardener. Everyone in the school pretended to know nothing about the wedding.

Life is unfair. Human made it. Human caused it. Human created it. They lived in it. They''re bullshit!

When I was in college, I joined usrah under a well known NGO.  I met a number of sisters who got married to someone lower in terms of education and working positions. They were blessed with lots of soleh and solehah children. They went to talks together and most of the time, the husbands sent the wives to usrah together with their small kids.

Redha is the only key to happiness.

Prosperity won't assure a long lasting marriage. If only money could assure a long lasting marriage, i probably one of those people who came from a broken family.

It depends on how you define the happiness.

F and I are both coming from a middle class family (in terms of income). We're not rich nor poor. We had had enough to stay happy and we're raised up with lots of love and endless cares. Money is not everything to us because we don't have that.

Hopefully, one day, we can treat our children the same. Love is everything. Love is the base form of a life full of sakinah, mawaddah and rahmah. Love will bring us together to jannahville. insyaAllah

Please girls, don't go aww euwww when you received a news that someone is getting married to a gardener or garbage collector or a driver . Say alhamdulillah, Allah surely knows the best for her.

Kalau beragama, apa salahnya?


xo

Reasons no 1

Assalamualaikum,

Life is all about gratefulness.

8 months in count before the most awaited day. Am I doing the right thing? Is he the right choice for me? Those questions kept on popping up in my mind. I'm not sure what I actually want from this marriage.

So, here goes my reflection to keep me awake from all the nasty yucky questions.  

If let say, my parents ask me why do I want him to be my husband? I would probably answer that thinking of him made me feel loved. Love is not number one though it is. haha. We fell in love seven years ago. He called me when I was in the toilet asking for my classmate's phone number. He's not even asking about me. Days passed. We declared when i was in matriculation and he was in INTEC doing his preparation to oversea. I'm glad I met him. A guy who always stayed put with me. When I was in teacher training college, I accidentally met another guy. He was my senior. a crush I should say. I was so stupid that I treated him like a senior who wanted to help a junior. He gave me all his revision books before he departed to Australia to further his study. Once he came back for good, he told me his real intention. pfttt. I felt so bad. Up until now, I still feel bad.

Ingat, don't ever layan your seniors. Ada udang di sebalik mee.

F never did the same to me. I hope! I owed him apologizes.

Thus, if anyone asks me why do i choose him? There you are. The answer is he is a loyal man who never gives up on me.

I can't read or imagine our future. As long as we are together and support each other, insya-Allah, we'll be happy and we'll build a great family just like our parents.

At the end of everything, everything happens with Allah's wills and permissions.

xo

UPSR & me

Assalamualaikum,

Since two days ago, I always saw the same faces waiting for their kids to walk into the examination hall. I tried to find myself in their situations. One day in the future, I will do the same. I will wait my kids to walk into the examination hall. I wish I could be like them. They were  a group of dedicated parents who really spent their lives to educate and raise up their kids.

Throughout six months of working, I met a lot of children who came from the intermediate families. The parents worked in Singapore as factory workers. The went to work early in the morning and came back late at night. I met a lot of kids who came from problematic families; divorced parents. I met a lot of attention seekers who kept on challenge my level of patience. I met a lot of parents who claimed that they had done their best to raise up their kids but when the kids rebelled, they claimed that they just could not do anything no more.
The kids were too stubborn. Please teacher, teach my children how to behave just like other kids. Our job scope is mainly about teaching and nothing beyond that. Sorry, we couldn't help much.

This week, there a couple who came to school and urged the administrator to write a letter to support them. They wanted to return their adopted son coz they claimed that they could not control him. After so many years and after so many rezeki they young boy brought to their family, they dared to say like that. They had their own son after a few years of adopting the boy. Now that they already had their own flesh&blood son, they refused to take care of the adopted son no more. soo cruel!

--------------

One day before UPSR, i was on the phone talking to my future MIL. F's younger sis is going to sit for UPSR this year.. His father took three days leave from work for adik. i went like WOW!!. I told him that one day, when we have kids, we must follow our parents' styles. I was so proud knowing that there are parents like that in this world and one of many dedicated parents are someone so close to me. They really took thing that happened in their kids' life important. In life, when people showed their appreciation to us, in return, we tend to return the kindness in so many good ways. That's how life should go about even though we actually must do good without asking for returns.

I still remember,my 12th birthday fell on the first day of UPSR. My father bought a small pizza (read: not PIZZA HUT!) and i ate one slice before i went to school sitting for my first paper. A small deed but meant the whole world. An unforgettable one.

To all parents out there,

a little shout out from me to all parents out there.

I'm just a teacher. I'm not yet a mother.

I was once a small kid. A little girl who really loved to be pampered and loved by her parents. A little girl who loved hugs and motivations. When I was a small kid, I never received any rewards for every good achievements I did but one thing my mother always told me, It's for you not for me. My mother never forced me to score in examination. When I told her I could not do my exam, she said, it's okay. you've tried. That's the best thing I would love to remember about my parents. They never forced me. They never put the blame on me if I could not score in exam or anything I did.

My father was the only source of money. My mother was and still a housewife. As far as I could remember, my father, never at once he said no if I told him I wanted to buy revision or exercise books. He never told me he didn't have money when it come to study. He sent me to a boarding school far far away from home when I was as young as 13 years old.  Imagined, at that time, all seven of us were still studying. That was the best sacrifice he had ever done to me and the one that I would love to remember for the rest of my life. That was the stepping stone to wherever I stand today.

Parenting is a big leap in a human life. Sacrifice is the key.

In return, they will sacrifice for you, one day.

My parents wanted me to be a teacher. I refused at first. Today, I'm a  teacher because of them. Redha mereka.

xo

random

assalamualaikum,

life takes you to a different situations. Since I started working, I always dreamt of a long holiday. A weekend without any interruptions. A break without anything to think of. Being young and new, they always made us occupied. Like mine, I chose to be busy. I did extra work. Out of seven days per week, I had a day break only! fuhh, sometimes, when i got too tired, I whined and cried. I couldn't wait for this-so-called hectic life to end. For this time being, my main goal is to quit. retiring soon after a few years of working. hahahah. Let's pray hard for F. If he manage to score 900 and above in TOEIC, his chance to be sent to Europe is widely open. That makes me high too. I just couldn't wait to leave my profession even i know, it will only last for a while. I'm a government worker who has another two years plus contract. If I quit my job before the three beginning years, I will have to pay 150k. Who can pay for me? Please, raise your hands. I could buy a house with that money, so, i just need to be a little bit patience.

Once again, we changed the date. From December to April 30. Fuhh. Lon time to go and preparation can be done slowly from this moment onwards. I'd been googling and being me, I had made my decision on what to wear. Simple on my special day! I don't want to be over groomed. enough with light make up and different outfit as compared to my usual ones.

Off-white for nikah
Gold for reception on my side.
White also on his side.
Done!!!!

Thinking about preparation, I'm getting crazy about all these. Woman will always be woman. No matter how hard you tried to prevent from being over, you'll keep on googling and browsing until things get worst and the simple wedding of your dream turns messy and wasting.

Months to go, yet, I have decided my wedding card. Months to go, yet, I have been looking for the bed sheet. Dowry... hurm, we hv promised to each other not to waste our money on this. Enough with things that can be shared with out extended family. Let's see how it goes when the time comes. I will keep on updating until the big day. I need it to be here since I'm forgetful and I hate writing. It's boring. Clicking is better than writing. :P

Tomorrow is the first day of UPSR. I'm am one of the prefecto. I was  quite sad at first since i had to leave my pupils for four days in row. Two days weekend was more than enough for them to forget things I taught. Imagine, four days. fuhh, I am a teacher and my job is teaching. Why are you sending me to administer the central exam? A random question i guessed. In a bright side, it's gonna be my first and last ride before bidding a happy goodbye to all chores that I hate. huhuhuhu. Aaaamin.

April 2016, please come extra fast! as fast as lighting. CINGGGG!!

XO

 

reminisce

assalamualaikum,

i still remember when F told me that he had changed his mind... he refused to further his study. what? i was wondering how far he could go without a degree? i was totally against his decision. I couldn't imagine of marrying a man without a degree cert. For my personal record, he was actually doing advanced dip in kosen, so, he just needed another 2 years for a degree scroll but he chose to stop and worked. It made me sad, at first. But now, no more!!! All praises to Allah. It's Allah who decides everything in our lives. He is the one who can assure us and grant us blessings upon anything that we do and decides.

I couldn't imagine how my life would be without him... He is and forever the one who could understand me well.

At that time, his decision left me with thousand of questions. He was really firm with his decision. I kept on trying to challenge him. I consoled him. I told him my worries and all the things that  i felt. hahahahah. I couldn't remember how long it took for me to accept things won't go like how i wished. I actually wanted him to further his studying until PHD nd post doctorate or whatever....hahahaha. The main intention was actually one..I was so lazy to work since I was still studying. I kept on thinking ways to fulfill my dream. Hopefully, one day, Allah will answer my prayer. I just wanna be a housewife like my mother and a stay at home mother who really takes care of my little family. heaven!

Once he finished studying, he started to find a job. Alhamdulillah, he managed to get one with the help from Shino-san. I couldn't thank her enough for helping us. She was actually the one who help F to buy our wedding ring. I had no idea a all coz things like that didn't look fancy to me. Whatever shapes it's gonna be like, I will just accept.. no worries!

Thank you Allah for sending me a friend who never failed me. A friend who always made me feel extra care and love though we're miles away. We never met but the feeling grew stronger every single day.

The decision he took might sound crazy but that was the best among all.

He told me yesterday..... I did one bad thing, but there's 99 goods in me that he could not resist. Man, you made my day. Always do. And please, keep on doing until forever.

XO

life is

Assalamualaikum,

Since this year marks my first year of working, my expectation is quite high. I've never been into the last class with almost 40 pupils. I think my life had never been this hard.

Often I said, I had nothing to do with you. If you're lazy, you are fool. Everyday, without fail.

To make it worse, I was assigned to join the year 6 teachers during extra class. Mine was the second last class. When the teacher was explaining in front of the classroom, the whole crowd at the back would make noise. There's so much noise that I could not even concentrate. The class was conducted right after school finished and imagined, the situation made me feel like fuhhhh.

I have so much to complaint but my journey is yet so far before I could establish myself as an experienced teacher.

Some seniors told me to let it go. Don't think too much. Just do your work and Enjoy!!!! Teaching is not a joyful thingy when your kids could not grab what you have taught them. arghhhhh.

Like today, I made one of the pupils in year 4 crying. She was not paying attention and she did not complete her homework. To make it worse, when I was explaining in front, she could stand and having a beautiful relaxing conversation with her best friend. I approached her and slapped her back once. fuhhh. i took her book and placed on top of her head. I hoped all the knowledge would fall down into your head. She cried.

I felt bad but I could not take away my words no more. If I consoled her, the rest of the her friends would take it easy. They might look at me as a coward. See...... It's so difficult!

Who says teaching is easy..... Come, replace me! ...I just want to quit my job now! Yes, I'm that emotional....

Sorry baby, I was not a British teacher. I wasn't a Western teacher who really believed on the power of rewards. With my kids, there's no such word.

xo,